Silence has a way of reshaping us when we least expect it.
My four-year disappearance wasn’t planned; it became an initiation I could never have scripted, a descent into shadow, truth-seeking, and deep inner alchemy that quietly and occasionally noisily rearranged the landscape of my life.
Where Have I Been?
My last post was back in June 2020 – a whole other lifetime ago.
What followed wasn’t a simple pause, but a spiralling journey inward. Life pulled me into places I hadn’t expected to go, and my creativity followed like a loyal companion. Most of my energy was consumed by learning, deep, messy, fascinating dives into health, freedom, sovereignty, transformation. It was confronting, illuminating, and often heartbreakingly raw.
As an ex-nurse, my interest in cancer following my husband dimise and exploration into more natural healing modalitie, I’d already explored things like ‘The Truth About Cancer’ and vaccination and was questioning certain narratives. So when Covid unfolded in the peculiar way it did, my knowledge of infection control and previous questioning stirred something ancient inside me – a knowing, a warning. The red flags were impossible to ignore.
What came next was a pilgrimage through rabbit holes both dark, deep and revelatory. I cried, raged, unravelled, and slowly re-wove myself. Instead of answers, I found layers of illusion peeling away. I’ve learnt to hold the mystery, the not-knowing, with a strange new reverence.
The Podcast Era
Somewhere along this winding path, with two of my Danish friend Susanna and Ole we birthed the Live the Impossible Show. What began as a spark of inspiration became a global offering, listened to in over 117 countries and charting in many of them.
We recorded 173 episodes with remarkable guests – visionaries, rebels, mystics, and truth-tellers. Some were controversial, all were catalysts. Those conversations stretched me, challenged me, and cracked my world open in ways I’m still grateful for.
When Susanna developed a serious eye issue and had to step away from screens, the energy shifted. Without the trio’s sacred triangle, the show reached its natural completion.
And yes — inviting certain guests meant I was shadow-banned on social media. Even posts about vitamin D disappeared. Eventually, I stopped trying.
The veil seems to have now lifted.
And Live the Impossible still lives on every podcast platform, waiting for anyone who feels called to listen.
Together, Susanna and I also wrote Footsteps to Freedom, a little guide born from the fires we walked through during that time.
I Found Love
Amid all that upheaval, a quieter longing whispered through me. With travel off the horizon and my world shrinking to the size of my home, I realised I needed a companion — a reason to step outside, breathe fresh air, feel the ground again.
I dreamed again and again of a little white dog.
I tried the rescue route first, but the world was aching for furry love at the same time, and the dogs available either needed more than I could give or couldn’t manage more than a five-minute walk. My soul needed movement. Nature. A rhythm.
The moment I opened my heart to the idea of a puppy, the universe responded with astonishing speed. Within three days, Aya entered my life — a tiny zuchon with moon-soft fur, bright curious eyes, and a spirit that felt like she had chosen me long before I knew to look for her.Aya has been my medicine.
We walk for miles.
We chase balls.
We curl into each other on the sofa.
And she announces every tiny movement my son makes upstairs as though I need guarding.
She brings joy back into my body.
She reminds me how to play.
She anchors my heart in an uncertain world.
Finding a Tribe… and Leaving It
One of our podcast guests introduced us to an organisation whose message resonated powerfully with me. For a time, I thought I had found my tribe — perhaps even my soul’s purpose. The next three and a half years became an immersion into money, law, sovereignty, religion, and esoteric wisdom.
It was like remembering something I didn’t know I’d forgotten.
I never imagined I would find law or finance fascinating, but the teachings spoke to an old knowing I’d carried since childhood — that things were not as they seemed. For years, I’d been told I was imagining it, or stupid for questioning it. No wonder my confidence had cracks.
This work helped mend them.
I contributed deeply — building websites, curating weekly news, writing special reports.
And then, on New Year’s Day this year, I left.
A Year of Endings—and a Beginning
Some endings crack us open, painful, confronting, but born from a truth that can no longer be ignored.
Leaving was painful, but it created the space I needed to return to myself. A quieter calling, a different rhythm. And in that spaciousness, I could finally hear the whispers of what wanted to come next – gentle, insistent, impossible to ignore.
I don’t miss watching hours of alternative news. But I do miss the research and the deep-dive writing. So you’ll see some of those reports pop up here whenever inspiration hits.
This year has been a season of endings, releasing, and starting fresh. I’ll share more in another piece when I look back over 2025, but for now?
I’ve rediscovered my voice.
I’ve remembered how much I love writing.
I’m playing with the words and visions rising through me.
I’m opening to the next season of my life.
So stay close—there’s more to come.
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